She Earns More Than Me

Our parents' world where husbands get jobs and wives takes care of the children is a thing of the past. It is not because of some cultural evolution but instead an economic reality. Dual Income Households are the future of Malaysia due to the rise of living costs as well as the financial aspirations of many parents.

Slowly less and less women are relying on their husbands for an allowance as they are bringing home their salaries to sustain them and their household expenses and maybe even saving and investing for their own retirement plan.

This is of course great for everyone involved. The business is improving as more competent people are part of the decision making process, higher earning Malaysians contribute to the economic as they spend more, and the family's financial future is stronger as the Household Income increases.

But something is changing and it needs addressing.

How about the husband? He has been told and taught his entire life that a man provides for his family but now he is in a situation where he is longer necessary to his family in an economic sense, his wife can take care of most expenses.

What is his role in the modern family?

Men that have encountered this sensitive topic find it an internal battle. What's my purpose? What can I do? Is my value and importance to my partner lessened?

Here are couple tips to hopefully break you away from that traditional perspective and to create your own personal value to your family.

1. It Is Not You & Me, It's Us.

Thinking about each other's income is a destructive habit to do as you perceive you and your partner's finances as separate and it creates an unhealthy competitiveness that only harms relationships.

If you are serious with your partner then besides just planning to have a life together, you need to actually start put that plan into action. Working together to reach agreed upon financial goals is an especially important one. Whether the funds come from you or your partner is kinda irrelevant, both of you are contributing towards these goals as a team.

So stop thinking about it as me versus her. You are both a team so work hard together to reach your goals.

2. Time To Knuckle Down

Whining and complaining about earning less won't magically make it so. Maybe its time to seriously focus in on your career to see where can you perform better and improve. Really take the time to see how your career is going and what are the big changes you need to grow your income.

Also look into having a side hustle. Whether that's monetising a hobby or simply freelancing with your current expertise. There are loads of apps that can help you connect with potential clients.

You might be thinking that a side hustle or taking up more work at the office will take you away from family and friends. Yes it will. But you have to weigh the importance of growing your income for your family versus spending time with your family.

It is a difficult decision so please talk with your partner as it will affect your family.

3. Re-balance The Familial Responsibilities If contributing more financially is not an option, another area you can help is helping around the house and with the family. Take up more duties such as preparing dinner, washing clothes, and taking care of the house as a whole.

Money is one thing but making sure that your partner has time to look after themselves with a relaxing hour to themselves is invaluable. Broaden your shoulders to take on more responsibility and one could be more the household. YouTube is filled with food channels to teach you simple dishes and it doesn't take a genius to work a washing machine or drive the kids to school.

Never think these duties as not for a man. It needs to get done and your partner is tired from her demanding job, be supportive and help around the house so that she can relax and de-stress.