Deciding On Goals Together

Well....You Found Your Partner. Happy holding hands. Enjoy having dinner together. Look forward to spending the weekend together.

Now you want her or him to be part of your life in a closer way. Living together, weddings, and children are all important but something you need to decide together are goals. This could range from financial goals such as retirement funds to life goals such as travelling around the world. They give your life together meaning and a direction that you can start working from Day 1.

Before you were an individual who had their own interests and passions and could chase them without worrying about any detrimental consequences. However you are planning a life with somebody which means not being 2 separate people but a single team deciding and working on the same goals.

Here are a couple tips that might this process easier and more actionable.

1. Be Comfortable & Transparent About Money Dreaming about travelling the world is fine but it is going to cost you money. Having a clear idea on each party's financial status in terms of current savings, debt, credit score, and pay will give you an accurate timeline on how much work needs to be done to reach those goals.

I understand that you see your money as being private and what gives you independence but it's not just about you. Imagine you have one ship and it's got 2 captains, each trying to steer the boat in their own way, what happens? The ship becomes inefficient as it can't have 2 masters.

You two need to work together to reach your agreed upon goals as efficiently and stress-free as possible.

2. Be Flexible & Understanding

Being together might seem as though chores and payments need to be a 50/50 split straight down the line but that shouldn't be the case.

You both need to decide a split that is comfortable with both parties. If you earn a great deal more and don't have any loans to payback where as your partner has to contribute to the family then make sure to discuss each other's financial situation. If you are happy doing the dishes, laundry, and meals then that's fine because your partner, if they value you, will see it and support you in another way. Don't listen to other people talking about your relationship, there are two of you in it.

3. You Guys Can't Have Everything

When you are in love, you probably want all the best things life has to offer to give to your partner and to your future family. A beach wedding, month-long honeymoon, international education, and a Bangsar bungalow. Unless you are a millionaire then that probably won't be the case.

Discuss with your partner what are their most important goals and look at your own to see what are the most likely to achieve and prioritise them. If you don't and just spread your cash across a wide range of "goals" then you won't reach the ones that really matter to both of you.